pissed off

i'm pissed off. i seriously mean it too. i haven't been this mad, frustrated, and angry in a while. but don't worry, i'm not mad at anyone or anything in particular, just pretty much completely fed up with how a lot of things happen to be in this world.

first off, what the fuck is wrong with whoever the hell is responsible for any violence and war in this world?! what things are so important that we need to trample through hundreds of lives on a daily basis? children, women, and men are wrecklessly killed, and for what? power? r.e.s.p.e.c.t.? establishing a message? nothing is acceptable when people are dying as "unintended" consequences. right, bombs and guns are meant to scare, not kill people. for christ's sake, will the people in power think of the CHILDREN? and SPARE them of all this fire and chaos?! how much more optimism can we possibly have in the future when more than half of this world's children grow up amidst heavy violence and complete confusion?!

and will the people in power please stand up? will the real people in power please stand up? again, i repeat, will all the irresponsible, violence-perpetuating leaders in this world please stand up so i can personally bitch-slap and STAB ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS IN YOUR HEARTS?! maybe then you'll feel 0.5% of the pain and suffering of our children...but wait, that would be pointless cause most of you are pretty heartless already. i guess i'll just have to stab you all in the livers then, you disgusting pieces of horse shit. right. but who am i kidding, that's never going to happen and an eye for an eye does make the whole world that much more blind, even if the people being blinded are already blind to the unnecessary amounts of pain and suffering caused by their lack of responsibility and accountability.

FUCK, HARVARD's a great place and all, but for all its truth and greatness, there's probably just as much if not more bullshit and not-so-greatness. for now, i'll just address leadership, since that seems to be somewhat a main theme to this piece of writing. yes, i did recently change my blog title to this: a fortune cookie once read, "a leader is powerful to the degree he (or she) empowers others." true, true, true, and infinitely more true than the oh so genuine leadership embodied by a number of leaders and organizations on campus. first off, the leadership institute at harvard college = complete horse's shit. again, not talking about the people, but just referring to the unfortunate fact that it exists in the form that it currently is. you know what? fuck it, i'll significantly spare for now the lihc and its presidents forum (a.k.a. - let's gather primarily the campus's top athletic and social club leaders and bask in all our power and wealth).


but i will say this, leadership, (at least the kind our denigrating society and world needs), is empowering and leading the masses in a socially responsible and beneficial manner. being a leader does not simply mean having a following or subordinates - that would just make you an idol or superior. ok fine, for you stubborn leaders out there, anyone looked up to or followed by anyone, even him or herself, is a leader. FINE. but accept the reality that defining a leader as simply such also dangerously accepts the basis of leadership as not necessarily including social responsibility. in fact, it probably promotes socially IRresponsible leadership because any person who is unwilling to accept social responsibility as a leader is probably apathetic and oblivious to the prevalent and profound problems plaguing the public interest and our society.


okay...i seem to have lost a big chunk of my mean streak for now, but if you're still remotely wondering what possibly might have caused this e-tirade, just read chapter one of robert w. mcchesney's book, the problem of the media. and yes, there is a problem with media in the u.s. and it might even be an understatement to say that the media is the problem.

spread peace not peanut butter. or blood.

whoops

so i'm a few hours late on this posting but oh well. i tend to forget things quite often. been watching lots of tv and listening to lots of music lately. it's been swell. played some basketball and swam today. swimmed sounds more proper but i don't believe it is. still trying to figure lots of stuff out, but summer's going well. been to many places and been traveling quite a bit. currently in champaign, illinois...for a while too. it's very nice and peaceful out here. not very many places are very peaceful. there's always some form of violence or unrest most everywhere in this world. why?

grandma's right

sometimes you just have to worry less about everyone else and focus more on yourself.

yeah, so...it's been a while, no?

after about a month of non-online-journal entries but not non-journal entries at all, i've decided to post something of though at least once every friday through monday. which should come out to at least once a week...on average. I'll also start capitalizing the start of my sentences too, which might make more easier reading. But don't think i'll be capitalizing all my i's since that might be asking just a little too much, or perhaps not enough, but alas! i digress.

been in chicago for the better half of a week now and it's been fairly better than any better halfs of the week that i've had all year or even in the past few years. i'm staying near the university of chicago with a good friend from home and it's been a really chill time so far. i've been downtown a number of times too, including last night to see India Arie at the Taste of Chicago concert event. it was cool. the acoustics of the temporary halfshell were not so cool being as subpar as they were, but i could imagine how polished and moving she would sound on a smoothly recorded digital track.

just got back a few minutes ago from downtown again tonight where we had some "tastes" of chicago including honey-mustard catfish and sweet potato chips (actually "sweet potato" chips, not "sweet" potato chips), and overpriced lipton green tea that was overhyped with its sweet "citrus" flavor spin ~ whoa! we also saw Train perform...let's just say if there was ever a train to not catch, Train at the Taste of Chicago would have been the one. although i have to admit, it was fairly entertaining to see a crowd (of pretty much all white people and families - essentially the opposite of the day before) dancing to and seemingly enjoying the cliche and shallow clear-channel-radio-ready 90s pop-rock that is Train.

how and why people hop abroad this train with such enthusiasm astonishes me. the lead singer was rather not-pleasant-sounding as well with more than a handful of inappropriate comments for the clearly family-filled audience. at one point he kept repeating a series events that supposedly happened earlier in the day about how this "hot girl" in another boat near his kept calling him superman, which he reasoned was because of his "hot ass." he might as well then have explained in excruciating detail to everyone how he intended to dock his boat, cause that's pretty much where it was heading before he started wailing the cacophony that was a song beginning with his lone voice about how he will be your superman and your man, but then contradicting that ten seconds later by saying that he doesn't want to be your superman, just your man, baby. or manbaby. whatever it was that he wanted to be he clearly does not really know.

anyway, i tend to criticize negative things too much so i'll just stop driving this train to the ground. Train is actually a pretty decent band if simple and comfortable alt-pop-rock is what you're looking for.

Chicago is really a beautiful and refreshing city. I really like it a lot.

after seeing India Arie last night, i stopped by The Big Downtown Chicago Bar Restaurant (which happens to seat most minorities in the more bar-oriented section) and was surprised to find myself looking out from my corner view at what was a very real moment. it's futile to explain in words and especially online, but let's just say it's rare to find a moment in which everything you see in front of you and around you just strikes you in a way that makes you realize how real and how wonderful everything is. the balance of all the imbalances stood in a less-than-perfect but very real harmony.

today, i again found another very real moment that i truly appreciated. sitting on the steps next to the front steps outside the Art Institue of Chicago, i sat with my friend as we listened to the jazz trumpeter in front of us exhale bittersweet melodies to the backdrop of an audibly portable piano jazz trio. i noticed that having trains and mostly above-ground mass transit really adds a lot to the personality of a city. up and down Michican Avenue, cars patiently drove by and people casually strode along...or so i hope at least was just not just the doing of the comfortably cool weather and leisurely summer.

the river and lake are naturally soothing as well and i always appreciate the healing wind.